traditions were important in our house.
And thus also the annually confessions that before Christmas and Easter was compulsory. Whether they wanted to or not, whether you had sinned or not, the confession was mandatory.
I always had the same two sins: lying and disobedience.
Lying primarily concerned with reading the secret flashlight under the covers.
By disobedience, it was more complicated.
My father gave me the feeling that I was constantly disobedient. Do not ask why, just do. Obedient daughters do not ask, just do the. Without question.
had Sometimes I even stealing a sin. And they always do when I secretly took a piece of chocolate from the candy drawer. A truly great sin.
After a few years ago, at the age of thirteen, I was aware that reading and chocolate ashes could not be sinful, really, and I refused to go to confession myself. But I had no chance.
My father said only: Everyone sins. We sin every day. Even in thought. Think, then even find something.
And I'm on the way to the holy confession and was always something.
confessions took place in religious education. Together with my classmates, we went to mass confession.
The smell of incense and holy water and the silence in the church gave me to create. Every breath was heard, and I was always just made sure that the wood of the pew is not very creak when I sat down.
And then it was time. It was my turn.
The Confessional, a dark brown box with bars, made me afraid. I remember exactly how looked the door handle. It creaked slightly when opened the door.
And then I sat there.
dark it was.
And the priest, who sat before me, and of which I only saw a little hands began to Imnamendesvatersunddessohnes and I knelt down and felt his breath.
lowered his head, I blinked up carefully to see who was sitting there and hope unständig, it may not be the local pastor. But I never saw the face.
It smelled musty and stale, he stank. Of liquor and moth balls.
I breathed slowly and carefully through the mouth and stared at my hands, I had folded up, as it should be. I concentrated on my breathing, I knew if I was not looking, I would fall down, bang against the wooden wall of the confessional and lose consciousness.
head down sideways, I tried to avoid the bad breath of the priest. From the corner of my eye I saw how he moved, shook his head and nodded, and I saw this purple sash. He mumbled something then. In Latin.
The stench coming through the wooden gate, came the smell was all over the sins that were confessed here in this torture chamber, and the wood is had drawn.
took me all of this the air.
I quickly stammered an Our Father.
Finally came the saving Imnamendesvatersunddessohnesamen and my repentance. The penalty consisted of one or two Our Fathers and the Gegrüßtseistumaria.
Relieved, I left the confessional, went before the altar, knelt down and prayed the Our Father three out of gratitude that this ordeal was over.
the evening, my father said Well, Amadea is not that a wonderful feeling after confession? Now you have to stop and not returned zusammereißen beaks if what I say, right? I'm telling you, you will never get a man if you are so rebellious.
Thank God I've got but one, a man is not holding still. Was probably too rebellious.
I should go to confession again. Any sin will come out.
0 comments:
Post a Comment