love wife
Now it is time to tell you that you now every day in the newspaper sports section shall read.
No, you the article reads about the menstrual cycle do not you care not for makeup tips and you will read either the Viennese or Woman.
you read at all not a glossy magazine, because where there are no sports section. No, is not sports, if there is, which new outfit, the wife of Didier Drogba with the opening in South Africa.
you only read the sports section of the newspaper, and since only the reports of the World Cup. So you know what's coming so and you can have a say a little.
If you refuse to complain, do not know if I ignore you now now. And you reg to not work if I neglect you and give you any attention.
And now for the rules:
1)
During the World Cup is one of my TV. And always and without exception. If you dare to touch the remote control only, it is gone, the manicured thumbnail.
2)
If you have to pass on the TV, I do not mind as long as you crawl on all fours.
3)
During soccer games, I'm blind, deaf and dumb. The only exceptions are limited to eating and drinking. If I want a beer, I'll tell you and if I'm hungry, too.
failed to tell me to listen to you because you have to talk to me. You do not talk to me.
I will lead, no phone calls, not having any girlfriend, let alone with your mother. And I do not you come with the sentence: treasure, the phone rings. ATTACK, I can not grade.
I will not baby-sitting, no matter what. And when it's door rings, I will not stand up.
4)
It would be a good idea to fill the refrigerator with beer every day and make sure there is always enough supply is there.
I need in the coming weeks or three-course menus, nor any healthy Buchweizenlaibchen. I just need to chew what (and I do not mean your earlobe or the like).
And when my buddies come, just be quiet. No accusatory or derogatory views, please. Be calm, and above all simply invisible.
If you follow all this, I allow you to operate between midnight and six clock too early on the TV, except I have an important Missed game.
5)
And now the important thing. If you notice that I'm upset and nervous because my team loses, say yes not: It's just a game. Do not get excited . Say not: Next time they will surely win.
You do not want to share my love for you's game, right?
No, you do not need me to cheer up, you can reach just the opposite.
No, you know nothing about football.
Yes, such statements could lead to divorce.
6)
once I will allow you to join with me to watch a game. Perhaps if North Korea does. We see, when. I will inform you in time. You can then talk a little with me, but only if advertising is running.
7)
repetitions of goals are important. It does not matter if I saw the gate, I want to see again and again. Again and again. And that alone.
8)
tell in advance of your huge family, that there are no more visits from now on. Neither the coffee gossip on the weekend to the barbecue on warm summer evenings. There is absolutely no visits in the coming weeks, remember this None at all. They should all check out by 12 Reserve in July.
I also would visit in the coming weeks or weddings or funerals.
I will not ask you whether this or that Shoes fit better and you dick in this or that Fummel look like and I will discuss not the color of the coffin of your great-great uncle Erwin if he should bless the temporal.
Requesting your friends to relieve in the coming weeks not to put any more baptisms. I will not go to birthday parties, be they ever so smoothly.
No matter what's coming: I will not go anywhere.
9)
The summaries in the evening on television are as important as the football games. Do not say yes You've already seen. Why do not you switch to so that we can look at the nice series? Before you say something, read the first paragraph of the Rules just once more.
10)
If you eventually have a breakdown if you're out, I will allow you an exception to address strangers in order to help you. Yes, exceptionally, you may also hitch ride home, and yes, no matter when it is dark.
Thank you for your understanding.
In love, your husband
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